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A Pleasant Surprise

Weird day today.
Got some really annoying stuffs happened, but also got some really nice surprise =)

The =(
- Had to rush to class and almost had no seats because I needed to do something for my boss
- Sat beside someone with the laptop in class; all I could hear in lecture was typing (and probably all my recording got was the typing too)
- Snow (yes, I'm not a big fan of slow)
- Got rejected

The =)
- Hooray to metropass! I love not having to walk from work to class
- Didn't need to take bus home because mom drove me home
- Found out I didn't need to memorize as much as I thought I need to for Wed's Pharmacology test
- Found out I did really well for my Embryology test (haha, and I thought I was going to get like 60.. and I even doubted if I should go into med school if I'm so terrible with anatomy)
- Had a nice dinner (SUSHI!); random thought, this reminds me of the Zoe101 episode where they burnt their sushi bar.. lol
- I keep having this feeling that this term is going to be real easy - well not easy, since nothing is easy at UT, but easiest term in my Uni life?
- Got rejected

So yah, apparently getting rejected is both a =( and =). 
=( because no one likes being rejected. 
=) because I think God is really answering my prayers. 
I have been really praying that He will open the right door for me, and close all the doors that aren't what He has planned for me. And indeed, I'm real glad that He has close some doors. Sometimes we get so caught up asking God to give us this and give us that, that we don't realize sometimes a no or a closed door actually tells us a lot. So I am glad =) Besides, I really don't want to attend any unnecessary interviews, especially when it means traveling really far just for it. I just want the right one ;)

Kids @ Church

I like helping with children's worship. The kids, although hyperactive at times, can be really inspiring at other times. And of course, they just do the most random things, or asked the most random questions that will throw you off. Not to mention, they are really attached to me! A little random conversation today:

*Jacky walks in after Sunday school*
Me (to J): *attached myself to him and started commenting on his new hair cut*
Little Michelle: *walks up to us* I bet you guys are girlfriend and boyfriend!
Me: Huh? No way! *points to J* He's my brother!
Little Michelle: I don't believe you :P
Me: Haha, go ask anyone! There's our mom there *points at mom*. And you can ever ask Esther *points at Esther as she steps in*

That is sooo random. Seriously, he's like so much younger than me too. 

Hahaa, little Michelle also mentioned that I'm really skinny. I didn't really believe her though, but she was like "you are skinny for a teen!" Hhaaha, I was actually going to tell her that I am not really a teen... but didn't really want to go around and expose my age. Let them think I'm still that young.. hahahah!~

I need to be more productive today.

Want to sing k!!

Oh man, so many good new (well relatively new in my case) songs I like now! And I want to go sing k to sing them! LOL~

Can't stop listening to:
Janice - Do U Know (especially 愛才, 離家出走)
Mayday - 為愛而生
Hins - 笑忘書
(especially 老了十歲, 不能不見, 遇見神, 
TVB theme songs (especially 第幾天 by Bosco, 十萬個為什麼 by Jessica and Roger, 醜得漂亮 by Andy and Myolie, 實情 by 廖碧兒)

Ahhhh, I think I'm going song crazy.

Oh, today was pretty productive! 
First off, went to Chinese school in morning. New term for the kids, so it was a busy morning organizing the new materials. Haha, we also got an award ceremony for the people who did well in the first term. This one kid reminds me of myself. I think she has a high expectation of herself and studies hard. Her mom was telling me how her sister got informed about getting an award, but since my mom didn't really call any of the children about the awards, she didn't get any calls about it. So her mom was telling me how she was a bit disappointed about it. Turns out though, she got 2 awards like her younger sister. I think I was like her too. Like stressed about how well I do in school and all (ok, I admit, I'm still stressed sometimes about how well I do in school). But I think over the years, I have learned that it doesn't work like that. Hopefully she will learn too, and trust God with everything that happens with her, including her academics. And one random thing - Issac and Yvonne kept pulling me again. My mom always asks me why the kids just keep pulling me here and there, and never does it to her. Well, maybe because they see me more as a big sister? Hahhaah I don't know.

Then afterwards, went downtown right away to meet up with Aida & Mark for our retreat meeting. Then later, Jeff joined us after his exam. Overall, pretty productive! And plus we had a fun time joking here and there too. Sillyness~

After I got home, I got too tired that I just immediately took a nap. It was a good nap *smiles*

And just now, I finished my goal of studying for tonight! Yay for productiveness! It makes me happy to reach my goal, since I rarely meet my studying goals. Hahah~ But yah, finished reading the psych chapter for this week, and did the online quiz! Go me! LOL~ (Ok, you can ignor me, I'm in this crazy mood right now)

Ok, now time to relax and chat! Or get ahead on schedule and start studying?

Email / Mail

I heard some news a few days ago. Now I'm paranoid about checking my email and/or mail every hour.

There's also so many aspects in my life where I don't know if I want certain things to happen. 
It's like you are divided between your emotional feeling and your logical thinking. 
What should you listen to?

And there are too many times when I pray that I can be more loving. Sacrificial love is just so hard. I do wish that you do well, but as selfish human beings, often I feel like I'm doing certain things because I want something in return, even if it's as simple as getting someone to be nice back to you. But we should love no matter what - whether if the person is lovable or not.

Oh well~ It's a learning process - something that's going to take a life long to learn.

Now being completely random, if I don't get into any schools, maybe I should start a business and be a professional note taker. Apparently people have been telling me that I write good notes. I wonder if you can ever make a living out from that.

Another random thing. I realized today how great it is to know you(s). Certain people doing certain things just put a *smile* on my face all the time. I hope I can do the same to others =)

I don't like...

I don't like....

- Changing my stuffs over and over again because of people's indecisiveness
- Doing the so called "see if you read the textbook" quizzes when I never get the answers right even though I read the textbook
- Missing the bus by like 10 seconds and having to wait 20 minutes for the next bus to come
- Working with people that I'm trying to avoid for a particular reason

I really need to learn patience. It strikes me that I get frustrated because I loose my patience so easily! So many lessons to learn....

Greedy Thieves

Just when I thought it's another normal day at work... something surprising came up! 

Like any usual day, I was just checking my email to see what I need to do, then suddenly my boss came in and said "Hey Christine, come! Let me show you something!" Ok... so I was like.. huh? I mean, usually if he shows me something, it's inside the office, but this time, we actually walked out. Turns out he was taking me to the other office we have (but I already knew we had another room... so that wasn't the surprising part). So make the story short, this is what happened. During the weekend, apparently some thieves came to the WHOLE floor, started breaking down the walls of all the offices EXCEPT the one that I usually works at and stole stuffs from those places. 0_o They must have spent like 5 hours there, to actually break open the walls.... Practically the whole floor was destroyed... and I didn't even know about it when I first arrived. (Actually I did notice the security camera for the elavators were not working... but who knew?!) Wow... I guess I'm just glad our office didn't get broken into! 

The thieves got caught though. Hahha, I bet they were being really obvious and greedy. Seriously, breaking down all the walls? I mean, to do all that require massive noise production, and someone from another floor actually heart it and called the cops. So yah, never steal, because you are just bound to get caught! 

Ohhh, I had my first test of this term today - Human Embryology. Seriously, I love the topic.. it's soooo interesting, like studying physio or anatomy, but I'm just not good at it! I think I bombed the test... while other people were saying how it wasn't that bad. *Sigh* how come I'm never good at the stuffs I like?

Rejected, but still =D

Another week has past. And already I have a test this coming Monday =\
As usual, my week has been busy busy busy + fun fun fun!~ 

On Tuesday, I had to take my grad photo, and I actually tried to dress up for it. My mom even tried to put makeup on me, but right after I looked at myself from the mirror, I got freaked out. I thought I looked like a ghost. Hahah, either I'm just not used to the whole makeup thing, or I just need to find a more natural looking style. Mom thinks she should take me to one of those makeup specialist and actually get them to make me look pretty. It's rather hard to imagine though... 

Wednesday was a busy day, with a long day of class, and then out to Big Sushi with NEURO people! We were suppose to meet at Hubert's place around 6pm, and really, I should have arrived earlier so I could play the wii.... but instead we just chilled a bit at his place, and went out for food. It was a fun time there~ We were just laughing at random things (too random for me to even remember what the conversation was about). Then afterwards, went to CSA games night. It was really fun! Met some new people, and got to see some old people again =) I played one game, and it was heart attack. And stupid enough, I lost. So I had to drink this drink they mix - which consists of like coke, lemonade, pop corn, ketchup, fries, and probably some other stuffs I couldn't even pick out. Hahaha~ Let me tell you, the drink was pretty bad. But at least it didn't make me sick. Hahah~ It was fun though, at least when I watch other people when they have to drink it too =P

Thursday was pretty busy, running around to different places just to get stuffs done. Then of course, had to suffer through a very boring class (I don't even know why the class is so boring. The topic is interesting and all; so perhaps it's just the prof speaks too slow). Then I was all worry about TCCF program... because we weren't ready at all. Turns out, of course, when we work hard for God and leave the rest up to Him, things will turn out great. What we did was to bring out the point in 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 - the one body, many parts. First we divide the people into different teams, and then each member of the team was some "flaws" - so something like one person can only use one hand (and can't see or talk or walk), and another person can only walk and see, and etc. Then we had each team compete to make sandwiches. Of course, it wasn't just any sandwiches, but they had to be in some specific combinations. So the people had to use the team players wisely to make these sandwiches. So turns out this activity was pretty fun (as one source tells me). But I think next time, we shoudn't do sandwiches, because I think we had to throw half of them away since no one would eat them. Nevertheless, I'm glad everything worked out (especially how I stayed up 2 nights working out the details.. hehe, good to know hard work pays off!)

Then today was pretty cool at work too, joked here and there, and finally got paid for the last 4 weeks of work. LOL~ Actually it's because I am always in such a hurry to go to class that I never remember to ask for my cheque. Hhahaha~ Then also found out my prof finished writing my referee report for HKU application! Classes were boring though, but meh~ I had a fun time with Ruth on the subway today chatting about many things, and it was really really really funny. And I know this is a little thing, but I actually caught my bus today, instead of having to wait for 20 min for the next one. So I was happy. Of course, my day was not perfect, as I got this when I came home:

Dear Miss Lai

I am sorry to tell you that you have not been successful in your application to Queen's Medical School....

AIYA! Oh well, actually I didn't feel that bad when I opened the letter. I think I sort of expected it. Queen's has such a high cut off for MCAT that I knew long ago I wouldn't make it. I am just mad because the GPA requirement is sooo low, like cGPA cut off is 3.68 only! Ah well. I did ask God to close the doors to what He doesn't want me to do - guess Queen's is not meant for me :P Hopefully the right door is being open to me soon =D

Oh~ Random though - my brother is listening to Never Had a Dream Come True - I just looooovvvveee that song so much! Hhahahahaah, it's a nice sweet song.

Applications

Did I mention I hate applications. 
It wouldn't be that bad if I haven't spend sooo much time doing so many applications already. I think I'm just getting annoyed by the whole process. Let's hope I get in something, and won't have to do this all over again.

Evolution vs. Creation

Speechless.
As always, I'm in awe with God's work.

Recently, upon general interests and realizing that I'm actually going to graduate from a science degree, I ponder on the question of Evolution vs. Creation. Actually not really ponder, because I absolutely have faith in Creation... but more like want to understand more on the topic. After all, it is written:

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

So, I wanted to make it more clear, not only to myself, but also to other people. Drown in the whole scientific community, people around will definitely challenge me on this topic... and how great it is, to be able to use those opportunities to share the Gospel?

So ever since the little interview/debate on Times magazine on evolution and creation, and Jeff's question on if microevolution implies macroevolution... I have been wanting to hear more on this.

And our God is a good God. Because when you seek, you will find. Today, we were blessed by Dr. William Ho for ministering His Words. Wow~ As he spoke, you could see the audience so drawn into each word. In fact, even though he went an hour overtime on his lecture, no one really wanted to leave. Moreover, he said that his actual lecture on this topic could even last for 14 hours, and I had the urge to just ask him to come over anytime to share that 14 hour lecture.

So here's a little glimpse of what he said, definitely not as well put as his slides.. Hopefully one of these days, I will be blessed to hear more from him.

Evolution: no creator, no design, chance
Creation: creator, design, intelligence

Evolution: It is still in progress... that it is trying to increase in complexity and organization for the better.
Creation: It is complete... any change is harmful because it is away from origin design.

Evolution: There are transition kinds from one species to another
Creation: No transition kinds (kinds meaning boundary)

Evolution: Uniformitarianism... meaning evolution occurs in constant rate
Creation: Catastrophism... meaning violent cataclysm occurs

Is evolution scientific?
It is often said that people believe in evolution because it's scientific. If it's scientific, then we should be able to prove is using the scientific method. According to the scientific method, the important part in proving a hypothesis is the testable experiments! Now, is it possible to repeat evolution? That is, is it possible to repeat how humans evolved from a single cell organism? I believe not. Of course, at the same time, you can't prove Creation scientificially.. because God won't repeat his creation again. Then what?

Evidential science
Another way is to use evidential science, which is looking at things of the world to prove something. Like you can prove the existance of electricity by seeing light. So people look at things on the Earth and how certain things changed, and say that the same thing must have happened to how we came about. But as I quoted from Romans 1:20... the Bible actually says that God intended that there are all these invisible things, but they can be clearly seen as His power from all that's been made.

For example, one key idea in biology is the whole evolution's tree of life. With certain calculations, people have form theories that everything came from a single cell. The fact is, yes you see all these different species now, but the process in which these species are formed doesn't have any evidence. Are they just opinion? If evolution is true, there should be transition kinds of animals around - like something between an ape and human (if we were to evolved from it). But do we see them? No. In fact, we have clear boundaries between the species, a fish is a fish, an elephant is an elephant, and etc.

Of course, you could argue that these transition species must have died off, so they don't appear now. But there are actually absense of fossil evidence fo these intermediary stages! As some might have heard, these are the "gaps" in evolution. Then just like many scientific processes, someone comes along and come up with something else - punctuated equilibrium. This is just to say that evolution is not a constant process (note how this already is against the defining characteristic of evolution). In other words, the intermediate stages are missing because (let's use an example of an elephant) the elephant just suddently felt like changing, and became a cow. Then it got tired. So the evolution process slowed down. Then suddently it gained some energy and boom, becomes a whale. So that's why there are no intermediate stages (actually there is a theory about how whales are actually from cows... lol). But according to the Bible, we don't see these transition kinds because God created the creatures each according to its kind!

Then there's the whole talk on how dinosaurs extincted 65 million years ago, and humans began around 4 million years ago. What happened to the 61 million years in between? If it's true that humans evolved some there, you should be able to find fossil records of the in betweens. You can't say oh - it just happened too quickly - as I'm sure 61 million years is a long time. Actual evidence actually shows (from the Cambrian explosion or something like thatl; I didn't catch that part too clearly) that dinosaurs are present together with humans. Footprints of a T-rex and a human have been found together, side by side. Now the only way this can happen is they were both walking on mud, which lay down their footprints, and then a volcanic eruption occured and perserved these footprints until now. But if one were to occur before the other, especially for 61 million years, I'm sure the rain and many other processes will wash away one footprint before the other.

Surprisingly though, these footprints of humans, found both with the dinosaurs and elsewhere, were a lot bigger than what we would have expected today. Plus they did find skeletons of human bones that translate back to 7 feet people. So what's possible is that the condition back then were different from now, and enabled people to grow that big (in fact if you look at the Bible, there are incidences where giants have be recorded in the OT). So as much as we might be scared from the size of dinosaures now, it could be possible that humans back then are actually much bigger than we would have thought.

Now that, my friend, are some of the points Dr. Ho pointed out. I'm sure I missed a lot, and I'm sure he had more in mind to say to us! Probably no one will read up to this point, but if you have, I hope it gives you a new insight into the debate between evolution and creation. Either way, it was a good learning experience for myself =)

Before I end off... Just want to say something else:
Life is about changes. Sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful. But most of the time... it's both. (A quote I wrote for my highschool yearbook graduation message; and I believe it's something Lana said in Smallville).

Farewell Bonnie (TCCF), Gim (TCCF), & Jeff (NTCBC)
Best of luck for the future, and continue to put your faith in Him!

Is that my calling?

Lately I have been really down. Actually I don't think down is the right word. It's just more like stressed, out of place, weird... I don't even know why I have been feeling that way. Ever since Urbana and the start of the new term, I just felt like I wasn't myself. The whole giggly Christine was just not here. Yes I would laugh at certain random jokes, but my spontaneous laughs for no reasons were gone. Even at work, I was easily frustrated even though work never seemed to bother me much.

Perhaps it's because certain things have been happening. Or maybe it's because coming back from the whole spiritual bubble from Urbana is really a challenge. Honestly, reality is harder to live in than one expects. Maybe it's just I'm frustrated with the fact that I can't put what I learned from Urbana into actions. The whole do not settled.... I just can't do it. I feel like I haven't changed since the conference, even though I really want to. I feel like I want to go out to the field now, go out on a mission, go to something, yet for 3 weeks, I have just been sitting at home minding my own business. Reality is hard to deal with.

Patience, He said. 
Yes.... patience is really what I need. And I think Satan saw my eagerness in acting that He went ahead and attacked from there. But what's better than to follow God's plans? I need to seek Him. Afterall, mission is about Him, and not about men. 

But I'm still confused. What's my calling? Am I ready at all?
I thought God had already given me a somewhat clear direction. Yet why is it that once I got back to Toronto, many people have discouraged me from it? I'm not saying what they said were wrong; in fact, they did have their points. Am I really called by God to do medical missions? Am I really called by God to go to Africa? Am I really called by God to go to Kenya? Or are those just my own desires? 

Then something amazing happened yesterday. 
I went to church for fellowship and we actually joined the English side for some mission sharings. At first, I thought it's just going to be just some people sharing their mission experience, which would be cool to listen, but probably won't change me much as I have already gone to missions myself. But was I wrong! (Ha, I should have known, God is always surprising us, isn't he? ;P) Immediately the first sharing hit me hard; everything the guy did for his mission was like what I wanted to do! Is it coincidence? I believe not. 

Medical mission? - Yes
Short term? - Yes, for about 2 months, exactly how long I want to spend
Africa? - Yes
Kenya? - Yes
Hospital work? - Yes
On the field work? - Yes
Working with children? - Yes

I just couldn't believe it. Even the mission organization he went with... is the one that I have been getting interested in! How unlikely?! If I remember correctly, that's the first organization I came upon at the Urbana conference that I spent a whole lot of time at. And that organization was the one that actually left me with a strong impression (none of the others really stayed on my mind). Wow~ 

But am I ready? 

No way, I said to myself, no way I am ready. I look at the guy sharing about his mission trip in Africa... he was so right for the job! A strong knowledge in the Bible, good social ability, great medical background, great research experience, able to live out by himself.... What about me? 

But again, God is a surprising God! Immediately after the first sharing, the second sharing and some other comments just blew my mind. The second guy went to China to teach English and Math. At first I thought that was pretty oridinary.. but guess what? He shared that at HK, he actually failed Math! He got an I! It's not even an F, but an I!!! Yet he's teaching math! As the Scripture says so clearly, God uses the weak. Men judges success by your abilities, but God looks deeper; He knows what we can do and what we can't do. Just look at Moses! When God asked Moses to lead His people out of Egypt, Moses refused, saying that his brother Aaron is a better choice because he is much stronger. But guess what God did? God used Moses!

So is that my calling? What is the solution?

And straight up I say: I still don't know. But I think sometimes we get so focused about finding a solution we missed the point. We get so into "doing just that thing" that we neglected the fact that the center of everything is Jesus. What I know for sure though is that God will provide. He will open and close doors to guide us to the right path. I'm sure of it. We just need to say Yes... to "step up and take the challenge", and take hold of every opportunity to do His will. Like the parable of the talents (Matthew 25), we are each given some special abilities, and as we awaits for Jesus' return, let's use them wisely for His Kingdom.